> Don't read these unless it's OK to laugh out loud! These comments
> come from test papers and essays submitted to science and health
> teachers by elementary, junior high, high school, and college
> students and compiled at the NEA Life Sciences Symposium, Kansas
> City, Kansas. As the originator noted, "It is truly astonishing what
> weird science our young scholars can create under the pressures of
> time and grades. "Please note that the original spelling has been
> left intact.
>
> 1. "The body consists of three parts - the branium, the borax, and
> the abominable cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax
> contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the
> bowels, of which there are five - a, e, i, o, and u."
>
> 2. "Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is not found in a
> free state."
>
> 3. "H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water."
>
> 4. "To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test
> tube."
>
> 5. "When you smell an oderless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide."
>
> 6. "Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is
> pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water."
>
> 7. "Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and
> caterpillars."
>
> 8. "Blood flows down one leg and up the other."
>
> 9. "Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then
> expectoration."
>
> 10. "The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even
> deader."
>
> 11. "Artifical insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow
> instead of the bull."
>
> 12. "Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and
> makes them perspire."
>
> 13. "A super saturated solution is one that holds more than it can
> hold."
>
> 14. "Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like
> umbrellas."
>
> 15. "The pistol of a flower is its only protections agenst insects."
>
> 16. "The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken
> out and the outsides have been taken off. The purpose of the skeleton
> is something to hitch meat to."
>
> 17. "A permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines, eight
> cuspids, two molars, and eight cuspidors."
>
> 18. "The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. All water
> tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and
> nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight."
>
> 19. "A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more
> extinct it is."
>
> 20. "Equator: A managerie lion running around the Earth through
> Africa."
>
> 21. "Germinate: To become a naturalized German."
>
> 22. "Liter: A nest of young puppies."
>
> 23. "Magnet: Something you find crawling all over a dead cat."
>
> 24. "Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away."
>
> 25. "Planet: A body of Earth surrounded by sky."
>
> 26. "Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot."
>
> 27. "Vacuum: A large, empty space where the pope lives."
>
> 28. "Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is
> affirmative or negative."
>
> 29. "To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose."
>
> 30. "For a nosebleed: Put the nose much lower then the body until the
> heart stops."
>
> 31. "For dog bite: put the dog away for several days. If he has not
> recovered, then kill it."
>
> 32. "For head cold: use an agonizer to spray the nose untill it drops
> in your throat."
>
> 33. "To keep milk from turning sour: Keep it in the cow."
>
>